Oh God, what a night. As if the past 3 days were not enough of a trip, tonight I am buzzing. There is no pain in this body worth complaining about. Having achieved the age of 50, I realize I also achieved the age of chronic discomfort, or pain as it is normally called. Get used to it, that's all I can do.

While I was away, the world continued on in a different location on the planet. My life is the same, no better. My friend is telling me of sexual adventures that blow my mind. Let's see, it's been nearly 5 years since I had sex with a woman. Part of me screams silently for change in my life, a woman to spend time with, that's all I desire. Someone to share my experiences with. The world is a very big place, and best shared by the side of another who appreciates it as much as I do. I want her to see the beauty of nature as I do each day. In all my adventures, I have yet to find such a lady.

Now it is Thanksgiving, and I am still alone. This sucks. What is it like to be loved?

Time change

Get back to reality. Been a while since I spent time at the computer, especially keeping up with my blog. Since last I wrote, I have had another birthday, the big five-O. Fifty years old is a point in my life when I look back at my accomplishments and failures and try to understand what I could have done better. Just because some things were successful, does not mean it could not have been handled better.

I have received many compliments since my birthday, that I look much younger than I really am now. Guess all the years of physical exercise and reduced dietary intake have been paying off. Seemed like nothing changed for years though. But now, my closest friend keeps telling me I am too skinny now. This is not true, I am back to an acceptable weight and my time spent at the gym has built up my muscles, and the endless walking I do, leaned down my body. I enjoy being thin.

For some reason, I now attract the attention of women everywhere. I always catch them looking at me. For the first time in my life, I enjoy being out there in the public eye. Flirting with every cute woman I end up meeting. Life should be fun, but it is only as fun as you make it in your mind. I am learning to be unaffected by being rejected by women. Not everyone will find me acceptable, that's okay. I just let it go and move on, smile as though nothing was going wrong in my life.

Well, yesterday, I bumped into a girl down at the lake that I met about 3 weeks ago. We hit it off then, but parted with no exchange of information to contact each other. Yesterday, I was passing her by, but something inside told me I knew her. She clued in just after me. Again we spent a good hour talking and laughing together out on the end of the pier. We just blend together so simply. She is not drop dead gorgeous, but a very nice woman, with a great sense of humor. But again, we parted with no exchange of information. But she still maintains the attitude, that we will meet again soon down here at the lake.