Father's Day

Today I spent the day with the six year old son of my close friend. He has no father in his life and has chosen me as his role model. We played ball for hours, and I carried him on my back and shoulders everywhere. At six years of age, I have become his substitute father figure. His mother has no desire for a relationship in her life again. This makes for a friendship that can never grown beyond platonic.

Sometimes it is hard to remain distant, for she never says much or offers even a hug for the many things I do. She calls me her special friend, but it is just a label in my mind. If I was so special, at least offer a hug once in a while. Don't be cold and distant when your children are loving and affectionate.

The kids have asked repeatedly for me to stay the night with them for they feel safe when I am around. Their mother has made up the story for them that I am staying the night, but have to leave very early in the morning before they wake up. This way, they are tricked into believing I am there when they fall asleep but later I slip out the door. I just dread the time the kids find out what she said was not true. That they will not find me there when they need me. I seem to live in a make believe life sometimes. There has to be more to life than living a dream.